Forgive Yourself; That You May Serve with Love

I learned that I should not have a problem getting my visa for Ukraine despite my passport timing. Jaime at the Mission Travel Office was completely reassuring and promised that it would not be a problem.

Today I learned something about forgiving yourself. Also, a good friend of mine challenged me to show everyone I interact with the love that Heavenly Father has for them. These two things are related and I will share what I have learned about their relationship.

I speak from personal experience. When we sin, we can know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ cleanses us from that sin and can give us added strength to withstand the temptation to give into sin the next time. We know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are perfect individuals that have perfect love, perfect mercy, and a perfect capacity to forgive. We believe in the prophet Moroni's words, "But as oft as they repented and sought forgiveness, with real intent, they were forgiven." We can believe at times that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will forgive us if we have real intent, but we still may not forgive ourselves. Sometimes, we carry these heavy burdens on our shoulders with the thought that, "I can't allow myself to commit this sin again. If  I do then I didn't really repent and will make a mock of the Atonement." We don't accept ourselves for where we are on the path to Heaven, instead we reject ourselves because of where we aren't! Those aren't my words, but they ring true in my ears. We don't say to ourselves "I am trying my absolute best and have progressed. I love the Lord and I know he is aware of my efforts." Instead we say, "I haven't made any progress because I made the SAME mistake AGAIN. How can I forgive myself when I know better?"

To receive the peace that Alma the younger describes in Alma 36, the "exceeding joy" and "exquiste and sweet" forgiveness, we must look at ourselves the way our Father sees us. We came to Earth to be tried and tested and sometimes we will fall. We have "mountains to climb" in this life and with every step we come closer to God. With every lesson we learn, we become stronger and better. With our weaknesses, we turn to Jesus Christ and know that we can't do anything of eternal worth without His perfect help. This isn't to say we should become complacent and comfortable to the point that we don't TRY to progress, but we should be comfortable with our absolute best efforts. If we are honest and true, we can have peace and be happy; we can move forward with faith.

How is this related with showing Heavenly Father's love through our actions? If we don't forgive ourselves, we don't believe that we have any self-worth in God's eyes. If we've no self-worth, we don't feel we have anything to offer to others and become self-absorbed with trying to make ourselves feel better. When we forgive ourselves and see our self-worth in God's eyes and His love for us, we then have the capacity to share the love that we feel from Him. We can pay it forward, if you will.

I was challenged to show love to everyone I come in contact with this next week. To make sure that when someone says "Hi" to me, or shakes my hand, they feel His love. Whether they realize that it is from God or not, they will feel loved. I can't do this without out forgiving myself for being mortal. Human. With the capacity to fail. But as soon as I grasp the vision that Heavenly Father has of me, I can do as He would do. This is my challenge.

-Jordan M. Kelley